Sometimes Teens Want You to Say "No" It can be hard to “read” teens as to what they want, are hoping for, or are angry about. But, there are times when they are wanting us to tell them “no” when they ask for permission to do something. Parents shouldn’t assume that they need to agree to all of their teenager’s requests. Part of parenting teenagers is allowing them more freedoms, but still holding them accountable. Ask about their request. Get enough information to make a careful decision. Then, if it still doesn’t fit within your parenting parameters, just say, “no.” There are times that a teenager might ask to participate in an event or activity that really doesn’t feel quite right to them. Or they know it’s really more appropriate for older teens. But part of being a teen is to check where the limits are. With some things, they might just be asking to reassure themselves that your limits haven’t changed. And, they may even be hoping you’ll say, “no.” Talisail is an exciting sailing adventure for teens with ADHD, learning differences, or Asperger's. Learn more about his wonderful summer sailing camp >> Parents Re-discover the Power of Rites of Passage The story typically opens with a young man, comfortable if not complacent in his life, who is called to leave home on an adventure. He first resists the journey. Sometimes even a family member discourages him; they are all too comfortable with the status quo.  Some precipitating event - overwhelming or even tragic - finally forces the young man to answer the call to leave his home and his childhood to take the hero’s journey. Author Joseph Campbell described the heart of the hero’s journey as entering the mythological woods and encountering a trail of trials until he wins a ‘prize’ that he returns to his community. The story has been repeated throughout human history and in all cultures, from the tenth century’s Anglo-Saxon hero Beowulf to the 20th century’s Luke Skywalker.  These myths and tales have mirrored the fact that throughout human history young people have taken part in traditional rites of passage and ceremonial events to mark their transition from childhood to adulthood.  In many modern societies these customs and transitions have largely disappeared, and many young people seem to remain perpetually immature and rebellious, even as they move into their twenties.  Continue Reading >> Earning Privileges Teaches Responsibility It’s easy for teens to assume that they should have all privileges of an adult. And it’s often hard for parents to agree to those privileges, especially when the teen may not be mature enough for the privilege. Rather than saying, “No, you can’t do that. You’re not old enough,” discuss how they can earn that privilege. What action steps would show you that they’re ready? What age would they have to be? What money would they have to earn? If they want to take the car out on their own, they might earn the privilege by driving for 20 hours under mom or dad’s supervision, be at least 17, and contribute to paying the extra insurance premium. By creating specific goals to earn privileges, teenagers have concrete goals to work towardly. And they’re learning an excellent life skill.