Helping Socially Anxious Teens Start the School Year

By Catherine H. Knott, Ph.D.

When she sits in class, she prays that the teacher won’t call on her. She knows the answers – she does all her homework on time and gets A’s on the tests. But if she’s called on, her heart beats faster and she blushes so furiously that her glasses fog over, creating further embarrassment. She would never ask a teacher for help, but because she is a good student, it hasn’t mattered much except in math. She has dropped back a class in math in spite of very high scores on standardized achievement tests. It has been a relief – she can now ace the classroom tests with little preparation, and never needs to ask questions in front of the other students. As her anxiety progresses, she may begin to find ways to avoid school and her grades may begin to decline.

For now, her parents know little of her dilemmas. They know she is quiet at school, but at home she is talkative and interacts a great deal with her younger siblings, even in noisy disputes or play at times. She seems normal and outgoing with other girls when they pick her up from the girls’ summer camp she attends.

Recognizing whether your teenager is just a little shy, or is socially anxious in ways that affect his or her life negatively through decreasing social interaction, falling grades, lower achievement, or unhappiness, is the first step in helping a teen with social anxiety. If teachers last year described your child as shy, there may not be an issue - but if they used descriptors such as “painfully” shy or “extremely” quiet, you should sit down with your teenager and ask them how they feel about starting the new school year. Then listen carefully to his or her responses. If your teenager mentions feeling anxious or unhappy, draw your teenager into a longer conversation about which situations at school produce those feelings.

If you think your teenager may have any degree of social anxiety, ask what would help, and listen carefully, because socially anxious teens may not want to talk about it! In addition to implementing any of his or her ideas that you can, you can suggest several of the following:

Learn more about recognizing social anxiety and what you can do to help your child >>

Boarding Schools Not Just for the Elite Anymore - How Student Loans Are Changing the Student Body

Donna never thought she could afford to send her daughter to boarding school. She and her ex-husband made a decent income, but tuition still seemed an impossible obstacle. When a friend told her that her son was attending a boarding school in Oregon, she asked if she had inherited a fortune. The answer surprised her: Her friend had applied for a secondary school student loan and was essentially financing the school the same way college students often finance their tuition.

Many parents are surprised to learn that greater than 40% of our parents who take out K-12 educational loans have incomes of less than $75,000 a year. Historically low interest rates and flexible repayment plans have enabled solidly middle class families to enroll their students in quality schools where their child's educational and emotional needs can be met.

Learn more about K-12 student loans and try our loan calculator to find out how affordable a boarding school education can be >>

Turn-About Ranch is a working ranch where teens turn around their lives while learning how to run a horse and cow ranch. Teaching moments are found throughout the day as teens ride the range, bringin the cows, grow crops, feed the ranch animals, and go to class. The program emphasizes old-fashioned values like hard work, respect for others, and respect for self. Learn more >>